I love my wife and hate taking out the trash! You see, it’s because she fills it to the point that it is overflowing and the bag is pushed down in the can so you can’t get your hands on it. Then she asks me to come and get it during the football game, I swear I never hear her say come get the trash when I am just sitting around doing nothing.
The trash always has something extra nasty on the top too like day old coffee grinds or an oozing diaper, just to make it more difficult to grab the bag. Did I mention I can’t get to the bag because she has the trash crammed to the top. Stupid trash!
I know there are some of you who like to recycle, but this is just more of the same crap. Now you have two or three cans to empty and I am sure nothing has changed with the filling it to overflowing. As a matter of fact I think that women are getting back at us men for something we didn’t know we did from the previous day. Like we knew she didn’t know that she looked fat in those pants, I mean really when I look bad in something she tells me without me even asking. Do I get mad? Nope, I go change, but we get punished with trash, trash cans, and trash talk. Trash is everywhere!
Once you get the cans empty, well, now you have to rinse the cans out… outside in the frigid air with your wives bathrobe on that only comes to your mid thigh and your sons power ranger house shoes. So you are out there scrubbing away on the trash can thinking you are all alone as you curse the world for the coldest night this year in the midst of “global warming”. The wind catches your boxers just right sending chills up your spine and blowing the robe over your right shoulder. Thinking you are alone you let out a “smelly hell it’s cold out here”, it’s then that you see the good pastor from the church down the street staring at you from his porch. “Hi Bob” as I run in the house slamming down the cans and putting my cold hands under warm water while trying to forget the whole trash mishap with the pastor.
This is why we don’t want to talk, we are too embarrassed. If it hadn’t been for the trash I may have some dignity left. Stupid trash!
What to do about this is never let it get more than half way full before you take it out, oh yeah, and buy a house coat and some rubber gloves just in case you are off your game.
