I understand that this is a late entry… and well, quite frankly, I just came out of my Christmas coma. I mean with all the food, family, and traveling it was enough to make anyone go crazy and never return. There is just too much hustle and bustle and not enough shut up and open your gifts. Anyway, because of the work location I was in and the new address that I have acquired, there was no time for a tree this year, thankfully. Not because I don’t like them, but because I don’t like them… confused? Well let me clarify.
As the man of the house you have to find the tree in the attic or the garage or the garage attic in my case. Get it down with a ladder you found in the trash after the neighbors moved out. Plus, remember all the boxes of decorations your wife is making you get down even though half of them are broken or they are without their matches. Then you drag the box that is held together with miscellaneous adhesive things like duct tape, masking tape, and a piece of weather stripping. You get into the house and open it up and put it all together.
So back to the story, in previous years this would be the case. Then there would be many hours of my wife asking me if I like this ornament or that one. Then I would say no and find both of them on the tree later. Of course that did not happen this year since there was no time… well that, and the fact that I left it at the old house when we moved, woops. Now I have a whole year to configure a plan to not have to buy another. Till then I will give you some idea of how to get rid of yours.
Well, you can do what I did, which is to leave it at your old house and if you’re not moving you could leave at your friends old house. Just throwing that out there. I do see a lot of trees on the side of the road from lazy people that don’t want to take it to the dump or at least to the woods. Its like they don’t know that they will burn, not the people but the trees. The real one of course not the fake, although they will burn you will likely die before the fire is out because of the smell. Of course some cities pick up the tree from the curb and to those people I say I am sorry for saying you will burn… I mean the trees will burn.
If you have an artificial tree and want to get rid of it put a rat skeleton in the box, works EVERYTIME. Otherwise…
BURN IT! That is where this whole article was going, as a matter of fact that was the only thing I had on my mind when I proceeded to write this. But it is worthy, and you should consider fire for an option on a lot of things. Trees, old couches, love letters from an ex, your moms fruitcake that you got for Christmas, and any ties you may have to inside stock trading. (Long story)
So yeah I think we are done here, but to sum it all up: fun with flames is great unless you’re on a date… then you should lose her for not liking to play with fire. Check out the video… yeah it’s right there, I mean here.
