I have some friends that live in a house across the street, but you couldn’t tell that any one even lives there because the grass is so tall. I know, that’s not the reason for this article, but seriously fellahs, mow your grass… you can do it and drink beer at the same time. I won’t judge, well, as long as you bring back my mower I won’t.
My friends like to sleep in and I, being a father of 2, have to get up with the friggin roosters in the morning because my boys don’t understand “sleeping in”. This leads me to my theory, “if I am up, so must my loser friends across the street”.
This last weekend, I had some other friends in town from Ohio, one of whom is a friend from the car tagging days of old. We still appreciate a good prank… whether it’s to each other (mindless shots to the groin) or to others (mindless shots to the groin). This being said we know how to get down when it comes to pranking.
So we plotted and planned and then after hitting each other in the twig and berries we got down to business. We went over to the house at about 8:45 am after a nice late night around a bonfire, for which I knew one of these fellahs was probably still sound asleep. After banging on every door and every window in the house somebody finally answered the door and we did not hesitate to tackle him to the ground and then quickly ran upstairs to “dog pile” poor bastard number one who was trying to sleep. Did I mention that we hit every window in the house including but not limited to the second story windows via the roof. I know we are very thorough!
Once we dog piled Ben upstairs we decided to go back downstairs with all his blankets… we stuffed these in the bathroom up on a shelf. Needless to say we were glad he wasn’t naked, but we would have done the same thing either way.
Now that we were downstairs we found poor bastard number two back in bed (still groggy) so we decided to go and spoon with him. Why? Because given his state we were sure to get a great reaction from him. I took the back as I wrapped my arms around him gripping his pecks tightly while Steve curled up in his arms.
He did not like this. It’s almost as if he didn’t know he had let us in to begin with! His reaction was gold! We couldn’t have planned it any better. He woke up saying “hey, hey, hey, wh, wh, whats going on?” to which we replied “don’t fight it, just love me”. Up like a bolt of lightning!
We staggered out the door laughing hysterically and on our way out we left all the doors open… wide open. This made him mad and he said “shut the doors, can’t you shut the doors?” as he tried to get the screen door shut which was in itself quite funny he muttered “deusch bags”. Ah, comic bliss, this is why we do what we do.
So I suggest you do it and then you will see it, the comedy unfold… glorious! Go kick the crap out of your friends, some things are much more fun when they are at the expense of others.
