I like to drink water… therefore I pee a lot. I have a glass of water before I eat breakfast then another with breakfast. I like to drink eight glasses a day. In turn I usually urinate about once an hour. So now that you know me you can see why I spend a lot of time draining the main vein.
With all that said, drinking water is good for you and your body. Unfortunately, using the public restroom can be a detriment to your health. As I embark on my day, planning for the excitement of u.a.p.r (using a public restroom) like having a nose plug handy. I have seen the nicest gas station with the friendliest attendant, complete with a full service pump and the automatic doors, have the worst restrooms ever. Initial annoyances strike me… such as, but not limited to, no door handle, followed by a door that doesn’t shut all the way and in turn does not lock properly. Soon I understand why the floor near the toilet is sticky, as I ready aim, fi…..ah! Somebody pulls the door open and I turn to say “occupied” which does not stop the man. I soon repeat “occupiedo” this stops him and we both look at each other like we have seen a ghost. A ghost with a large tool in his right hand, at this point there is urine on the floor and my hand. Now I need to wash my hands. I thought about wiping the floor but soon after noticed that there is no hand towels then quickly notice there isn’t any soap either. This is just great… I sigh to myself as the man hands me some hand sanitizer. I was grateful, but wondering why he was still in here. Anyway, I have pee on my shoes and a little on my hands… then there is the floor. It is covered but what do I do? Leave. That’s right, there is nothing I can do so I thank Manuel for his hand cleaner… he tries to wave but I can see he is… busy.
So I have some words of advice if you are looking for a sterile solution to the public restroom crisis. First, take your own hand cleaner or at least a hand towel. Second, as soon as you get inside the latrine go straight to the condom dispenser and get two condoms out of the machine and place them… no, no, not there, put them on your hands. Then proceed to use the facilities. Crazy? I think not! Crazy would be leaving after touching everything in that room. Another quick piece of advice is to keep out English impaired users while you are busy. Find the ‘closed for cleaning’ sign and place it in front of the door before you go in. This handy trick will make it easier to do your business, especially if your business is taking the browns to the super bowl.
Stay safe out there and remember to come prepared, go with caution, and leave without a communicable disease.
