It has been brought to my attention that I need to make some updates to the car code article. First you must make sure that you have read and fully understand the rules in the previous article.
Good. Now we are on the same page (no pun intended). Normally you will find me cracking jokes and being silly, but when it comes to respecting the ride, I am all business. While I am at it, I will also address how you can have car tag and respect for a man’s vehicle at the same time.
I have caught some flak for when I say you should cr√®me your friend‚Äôs car with your beater and then I write about the loyalty and respect for one’s car. I will explain. First, men have aggression and this need not be explained. It’s just there. Like women have emotions and feel the need to cry while they are eating their cheerios in the morning. Dudes need to hit something, anything. This restores balance and structure into his life. So back off all you haters, mainly girls, about me playing car tag. I don‚Äôt understand why you cry… so forget about understanding why I like hitting things with a large sedan!
On to the code. You need to read this and post it in the car, especially for the newbie’s that don’t know any better. We continue now where we left off previously:
10) Remember well the glass rule. This goes for butt cheeks as well. NO TOUCHIING! This includes the headlight glass as well. If it’s clear… it’s in your best interest to keep it that way.
11) Never, and I mean never, tell a dude that he is driving too aggressively. It is a right of passage. I don’t tell you how to put on your pants so keep away from any urges that make you want to tell me to slow down.
12) If you have the shotgun position in the car it is your sole responsibility to check the locks and if you are in a 2-door car, put the seat back to its full upright position.
13) No smoking ever, no matter how much you paid for the cigarette. Please revert back to the glass rule, you mess it up, you clean it up, and no streaks.
14) Finally, if you have kids or a girlfriend that do not know the code and they are near your friend’s car, you better be briefing them immediately. That is, if you don’t want to start a never-ending war. I would also like to add that this would make it “open season” on your kids or girlfriend if she so much as even touches the radio.
No exceptions, no time, no matter what! Look out for the laminated versions of this car code it will be available for purchase.