Happy freaking holidays!!
You could take that a couple ways. This is the frame of mind that I find myself in more often than not. Let me tell you why. It’s because there is energy involved in the interaction between family members. As a matter of fact I can’t think of one family member that doesn’t exhaust me at one point or another. This is not to say that there is no love here, but sometimes it is hard to have fun without the function. Unfortunately it takes action to interact. So it’s a good thing and a bad thing.
Lets run through the pros and the cons of this particular season. Pros, no doubt, hands down the best thing about thanksgiving is the food. There is no question about that. Coming up at a close second is football, whether you are playing it in the yard, watching it on the TV, or trying to listen to it through a cheap ear bud in your ear during the festivities. Sitting around doing nothing is kind of nice too, that is until you have to get up to do something (usually against your will) and you are too tired… either because you can’t feel your legs or because you can’t see them.
Now for the cons, unfortunately there are more of these than the pros. My biggest thing is that there is always something or someone that really annoys me and traps me away from my top two favorite things. But this is not the biggest problem, the biggest thing is the prying and the advice, then there is the overwhelming feeling of the need to eat more, and then it happens. Someone tells you that you have had enough… whether he or she does it under his or her breath or with some pun at your expense. It does not matter at this point, you are looking at a group of people you’re are trying your hardest to get along with and they make it that much harder. Not to mention all the comments about you not calling enough or you never visit or the worst one of all… someone remembers that you owe them money.
Well, with that said, you will need to do some things to stay under the radar. First, arrive a little late but not too late. You don’t want to be too noticeable. Then go straight to the front of the buffet line, or sit at the kids’ table to avoid unwanted questions. Second, avoid unwanted eye contact with the people that you get the career/what are you doing with your life questions from. Third try to DVR the game or tape it or something, just to avoid the women with their talking. For instance “that is all you do is watch TV”. Fourth, and lastly, you will want to avoid a fuss about your waist line by convincing a kid from one of the many new friends you have made at your new place setting, to get some more pumpkin pie and then give him a dollar for it. It is worth it.
Note this list will help you if you are single or without your spouse and kids to hide behind. Otherwise you will be going with your wife and you should remember to still arrive late but blame the kids. DVR the game, have your wife get you seconds and then leave early once again because of the kids. All the while remember that family is great when taken in small doses and widely spaced out. It’s the holidays man… pace yourself!
