This article was written by our good friend Jared Owens.
The first question is, did you set the alarm? To which you might reply, “No. No, I have no problems with sleeping all day.” Or “Yes, what happened! It’s after lunch! Now, I have to think faster and run faster and prioritize the to-do list, which will be woefully incomplete.”
If you didn’t set the alarm, then you meant to sleep in, right? If you did set the alarm, then you’re a sloth, an animal that hangs upside down in trees and moves extraordinarily slow. So, what to do about being a person who wastes the morning, or how to be a faster moving tree animal? I’m of the impression that simply because a sloth hangs upside down, which is odd, and simply because you can’t see him move, doesn’t mean he’s not awake. Maybe he’s a profound animal kingdom thinker. To be truthful, I know absolutely nothing about sloths, but since the English and Biblical comparison of an idler is someone who seems to behave in this way, I will label you “sloth”. This article is not about sloths. It’s about being idle or a sloth. Sometimes it’s fine to pretend you’re sloth. And sometimes it’s ok to do nothing. But this article is about habits. It’s a bad habit to pretend to be a sloth or idle because people will think you’re strange or a bum.
Now, I must be direct when I say that the bias of this article is that morning hours are important hours, hours not to be wasted. However, I was up till 3am last night trapped in a tree after hours in a park and evading cops, and as much as I believe in waking up in the morning, as if it were religious, I also strongly recommend sleep. Did you know that sleep deprivation compromises the body’s immunity more than 1000%? Yes, a lot, and gives you wrinkles (speed aging). Your cells aren’t rejuvenating. They’re withering and dying, and the mitochondrion are screaming, “Please go to sleep! We can’t make anymore ATP! We’re tired!” Have you ever wondered what unit amount of energy your body makes daily? I did today, but I can’t find an answer. I hate that. So, the point is, we’re going to succinctly think about what we’re doing when we get up, get up sleep deprived, and get up after lunch.
When you get up, you open your eyes. Do you hear the alarm? When you get up sleep deprived, you didn’t go to bed early enough. Do you hate the alarm? Do you obey the alarm? …that sounds funny. If you do not get up, though you climbed trees till 3am and need to rejuvenate your little cells, then you won’t do many of the little to-do things you know you need to do before you go to sleep again that night. Maybe you should schedule sleeping too, if you have reprehensible sleeping habits! And if you sleep till lunch, you skip breakfast.
…This is becoming an “awareness piece”. How balanced is your life? You do, in fact, operate within confines that aren’t entirely yours to pick and choose, that is, the body needs sleep, daylight, work, and there are lots of little things that need to be done all the time independent of your whims. So, I propose, 1) thinking about tomorrow—what needs to be done and what is not critical, per se. What are your goals for tomorrow? Consider them in your evening/night plans for today. 2) If you think…ugh, “nothing is expendable on that little blasted, all-important list”, set five alarms and hide them in your bedroom. If you live with your mom and she thinks it’s funny to shake you awake, ask her to make certain you’re up and moving. If you have roommates who will be up, ask them to bang on the door and repeatedly call your name until you are forced to respond. If you’re married and share your bed with that dreamy someone, ask them to jump on you or kiss you or pinch you until you say, “Ok, thanks, I’m awake.” “Yes, but do you love me?” “Yes, I’m crazy about you.” “Ok, get dressed.”
I have an aunt who had a cat that nibbled her earlobe every morning because it was psychotic. I don’t think she asked the cat to do this, but it certainly was a way to begin the day. So…I propose we live deliberately, get enough sleep, use time wisely, and become faster moving tree animals. Get up.
Isaiah 33:2 O LORD, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.
Proverbs 6:6-11 Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! 7 It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, 8 yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. 9 How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? 10 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest- 11 and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.
 
 
*this article was featured on October 7, 2007
