I know we don’t usually use names in these articles but my good friend Shelby deserves this honor. Just the other day I came in from a run and when I run I like to put on my spandex bicycle / running shorts. These shorts are all of about 12″ in length, much like a pair of boxer briefs.
I was really sweaty and needed to get my top layer off, so I stripped down to my spandex. I then sat down at the computer to check my email when the wife asks me about lunch to which I reply “yes please”.
I return to my work when my wife says “oh yeah, Shelby is coming”. Well, I thought I had at least 5 minutes, but no! She opened the door and came in much to my surprise. She came into the office where I was working to eat her pizza and drink her kombucha. I thought I should put on some pants but then thought about how uncomfortable and funny it would be to whip around and stare at Shelby till she noticed me.
When she did she was struck by the pure awesomeness of a full grown man In a tight pair of spandex. As a matter of fact she was in awe for about 30 seconds. How did I know? I knew because she couldn’t stop laughing or make eye contact with me the rest of her lunch.
This fueled my fire as I was proud to make Shelby uncomfortable whenever I have a chance. This was no different. I am pretty sure there was one time that she was talking and I snuck up beside her and rubbed my spandex bootie all over her arm. Pure hiliarium!
If you are thinking about making a girl feel really weird, try to carry on a conversation with her while in a pair of spandex shorts and watch her avoid eye contact at all costs.