Ever had one of those moments when you thought, just for a second, that you were going to die? Did this thought come to you while you were driving? No? Well, mine came while I was in the passenger seat of my sisters car. She was driving with her knee while she was looking in the mirror playing with her hair. This was going on while we were bolting down the highway at 80 MPH. Yeah, all while she was talking to her husband on her cell phone!!!
I know, I know, all this coming from the guy with 27 moving violations, 3 non- moving violations and 2 crosswalk violations. I guess the difference is that while I flirt with danger, my sister straight up kisses it on the mouth! We both were bred for danger, we drive like everything is a race and everyone is a viable competitor, even the 78 year old in the cadillac. You all are going down!
I don’t know that I am a better driver, but I must say that I only drive crazy in spurts when I get in one of my moods. My sister seems to be in one of those moods all the time, and I don’t think she knows it. It’s like taking a squirrel, putting eyeliner on it, spinning it around in circles, then feeding it speed laced brownies, slapping it in the face, giving it a Chrysler 300 and hoping for the best! The squirrel would still drive better. Good God, woman, keep it between the lines!
I am not normally scared in the passenger seat, as a matter of fact I sometimes enjoy it, so long as I am not riding shotgun with Carrie (likes to use the brakes on the highway) or Andrew (he really likes to tell people how they are driving). One of my favorite friends to ride shotgun with is Tim. Tim has read enough Car and Driver/Motor Trend magazines that he pisses defensive driving. My sister, on the other hand, makes me feel like I have been recently rescued from a terrorist right before he started torturing me ( still tied up)… speeding down the highway as the terrorist is shooting at us, she ducks and dives into the right lane. Passing and weaving like she is an over zealous hair dresser and the lanes of the highway are a head of flowing locks that she wants braid… very badly!
You are wondering what to do about this? Well, I will tell you! I got out my phone and called her. She answered. I then told her I was telling mother. She laughed hard (inside joke) and we made it to the coffee shop alive. Just imagine how she drives after a cup of joe.
