Itching sucks! If you have poison ivy then you know this. Poison ivy is like a disease of itching, swelling, and bleeding. Many times you will discover that you have poison ivy in the middle of the night after your skin dries out. Then the itching starts. You will itch and itch and itch without even realizing you are itching. The pain that comes from this weed will make everything that you do really suck, things that you do everyday… like wearing clothes or putting on your shoes, not to mention showering.
You might be wondering how you got this itchy little gift. Well don’t ask me, I have no idea. All I can tell you is that the only way to get rid of it is not to itch it. Most people get it from rubbing against the plant in the woods or the one growing in your bushes, garden, or behind the shed. The ivy seems to like the shade and moisture, very rarely does it grow in the direct sunlight. There is more than one way to get this crap. You can even get it from the dead plant even after it has set for a very long time. Another way to get it is if you just happen to burn it in your wonderful bonfire that you are admiring so proudly… and of course this can be the deadliest of all, depending on how allergic you are to it.
Once again, poison ivy sucks. Itching in general sucks, no matter if you have poison ivy or crabs. A piece of advice, don’t get poison ivy on your balls. Yes, it is unpleasant and very uncomfortable; it is kind of like sitting on a porcupine. No wait, it is more like stuffing steel wool in your pants… at least that is what I have heard. I have only “enjoyed” poison ivy on two occasions. First, when I used to work in the lawn care field, I was sent to a job to take down a bush that was really more like a tree. This tree was about 15 feet in diameter, 18 feet tall, and covered in pure poison. The one thing you learn when doing landscape work is to recognize what poison ivy and poison oak look like. Well this is where I failed. I did not think this was the stuff because it was kind of white in color and had holes in it. So my accomplice and I proceeded to cut it down with a chain saw and his bare hands. We get it all cut down and put it in the dump truck in just 2 hours… we were feeling really good about getting it done super fast. This feeling would only last for about 12 hours. That night I woke up and found blood on my sheets and then noticed that my legs were bleeding and swollen. It was like sleeping in needles while rubbing alcohol on the open wounds. It always feels good to itch it till you stop… then there is that rush of pain. Needless to say, I did not sleep very well that night. The next day I went back to work even though I could not stop itching. One thing I did do right in order to keep from itching, I ran the infected areas under hot water until the itching sensation went away, and then dried it. This feels as good as itching but is much better for soothing the pain. I only suffered for about 2 days.
My friend that was with me that day called me at work and said he would be late, when I asked him why he said, “dude I think it was poison ivy that we cut down”. I said “yeeeaaah, I am pretty sure it was”. While I was the cutter with the chain saw and only got the poison on my legs from the sawdust being thrown, he was the loader and was picking it up in a bear hugging fashion. Not to mention that it was about 95 degrees out side and he was sweating ten times more than I. So when he came to work (after getting a cortisone shot) he had it from head to toe… yes including the “wedding tackle”, he could barely walk. It looked like he had a disease, like scurvy or something.
