I have a big problem with my pet shark Petey. It’s turning into a mountain of a problem. Therefore, it is worth writing about here on WhatToDoAbout.com. You see I have this pet shark named Petey. He is pretty big… about 6 feet 3 inches. He has an incredible appetite and is starting to get quite expensive.
I have thought about getting rid of Petey, but I just love him soo much. Besides, he eats all of the people that annoy me. It is nice not having people that annoy me around. Petey takes care of that. All I have to do is act nice and interested in these people and invite them to see Petey. I explain how he is such a sweetheart and would never hurt anyone. I then proceed to ask them if they would like to feed him. They always give a resounding “YES!!’ I then show them how to stand above the tank and lean over holding a nice big bloody bone in one hand and a fresh fish in the other. I then accidentally bump them as Petey comes charging over. Of course I scream and yell, making it look like I am really upset. Petey is usually upset with me for a few days afterward because most of these people do not taste very good. They are rotten on the inside and he can taste it. I apologize to him and usually get him something special to enjoy after doing my bidding.
Lately, I have had quite a shortage of people to feed Petey. Maybe people don’t annoy me as much as they once did. Maybe everyone in Nashville is just really nice. Either way it’s getting expensive feeding him. So really I am posting this to let anyone know if they want an annoying person eating shark they can contact me. Petey is great… he is such a sweetheart and would never hurt anyone. If you would like to come visit him, I can even show you how to feed him.
Let me know.
 
*this article was featured on October 16, 2007