If you are one of the hundreds of thousands of people that will be attending a music festival this year then you have come to the right place. If you have ever been to a festival before you have a good idea of what to expect. Music festivals or ‚Äúmf’s‚Äù is what I call them, are a great way to soak up some of that idle time you have over the summer. The only thing better than a good m.f. is a warm beach with pretty waitresses serving you drinks with little umbrellas in them; unfortunately most of us don‚Äôt have that kind of money.
You will first want to find the mf that suits your musical preference, whether it be blues, country, jazz, singer song writer, new age or the only true festival (in my opinion) is a good old American rock and roll festival. No matter where you go, you will most likely be camping; this can be avoided if you don’t want the full experience. You will want to find a hotel close, and soon, because most festivals sell out hotels very soon. If you are ready for sleepless nights under the stars while you hear different renditions of “Kumbaya my Lord”, or at the rock festivals “the summer of ‘69”.
Although I do like a good mf, I would rather stay off the grounds, my sleep means too much to me. Not to mention it is easier to stay 14 hours when you have had a good night’s sleep. Another thing to consider is nutrition; you will want to eat as often as you would eat at home if not a little more. Doing this will ensure you don‚Äôt get sick or get weak as you will be on your feet all day. This may be difficult if you don‚Äôt have access to this food. Some festivals have stores inside them but beware they are not a price mart or a costco. Their prices will make you wish you weren‚Äôt hungry at all. So stock up before you go and make sure you have plenty of ice. Which leads me to my next subject.
Water is as important as toilet paper when it comes to mf’s. You will need to drink 8 ounces an hour or more depending on how much you perspire. Which means maybe you want to rethink dancing, or for those of us at the rock mf, moshing… knee slapping if you are at a blue grass festival, maybe shouting yee-haw if you are at a country festival. Anyway you slice it you need to be hydrated this will help you not get dehydrated and keep you cool also.
Now when at an mf don’t expect a shower and especially don’t expect a clean toilet. Those are two things that you will need to grin and bear. The port-o-johns are crappy, pun intended… but have no fear, you will be comforted by the cold shower to get those germs off of you. I like a cold shower it makes me feel alive, I don’t need to be boiled when I shower… even though sometimes I like a hot one, cold is more often what you will find at a mf.
When attending a music festival you will want to remember to bring some baby wipes for a quick wipe down in the port-o-john or at the campsite as the day goes on. I will say nothing feels quite as good as a cold wet wipe in a hot port-o-john. It’s like wiping with an ice cube, I do it sometimes at home just for fun.
Last thing is, remember to pace your self in this matrix of music. Keeping yourself in tip top shape for your favorite musical act will make it all worthwhile. On the other hand if you cannot take a sweaty toilet seat or eating out of a can or maybe walking in mud from the recycled shower water that they spray on the dirt to keep dust down… then you may want to reconsider your vacation destination. Otherwise have a great time and fellas remember to lay off the hot wings when you have to share a toilet with 30 thousand of your closest friends. Ladies remember no matter how hot it is if you are over 160 pounds please no belly shirt or spandex. It’s hot enough out there, don’t make us sweat any more than we need to wondering when something unsightly is going to fall out.
That being said, have a great summer and if you are in the pit with me beware I like to get my groove on, or something like that.
