So the holidays just passed us by like a freight train speeding out of control till it crashes into 2009. I know some of you went home for the holidays or had family at your place. If you managed to do neither, congratulations, nobody likes you and you are a sad lonely person. Anywho, if you were a house guest and you had the privilege of staying with somebody over the holiday season you may have had the following things happen to you like I did:
-Mother-in-law waking you up by hitting you with a pillow
-Father-in-law walking around in a too loosely tied bath robe
-You forgot to shut the door when you went to the bathroom
-You had to hide your dirty drawers
-Your sister-in-law didn’t knock before opening the door while you were taking the browns to the super bowl
If you had some family over for the weekend you may have had some similar things happen, but there are a few others that can only happen at your place:
-Mother cleans your house when you just cleaned and says it seems like you guys are to busy to keep clean
-Your mother-in-law thinks you are an inadequate father and husband because you didn’t get up and make breakfast for the whole family
-Your father doesn’t shower for 3 days because your bathroom is too small
-God forbid you have an argument with your wife during this time, the flood of unwanted marriage advice
-Your kids say why can’t grandma and grandpa stay with us forever? Thats like asking, “where do babies come from?”
I understand you may not have experienced these things yet because you are still searching for the right mate or you have no family problems whatsoever. If this is you, I hate you and I hope you get a flat tire on your way to work on monday. So if you go out of town again and manage to stay with family again remember some basic principles.
-Don’t stay with family
-Carry a gun or a Bible then act like you are cleaning it or reading it when things get… awkward.
-Lay down the law and tell your in-laws they have to relax and not clean the house, it’s dirty and we like it that way
-I can’t say this one enough, lock your doors, lock your doors, shut your doors, and then lock your doors… bathroom, bedroom, closet, anywhere you may have anything that will further incriminate you.
Maybe you have a story to tell about the holidays and your experiences with the family, if you do then please write your own blog and start a successfull website and post it there.
