Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and very unpopular with the ladies. You know you work really hard to do the right things in life… a good job, good girl, good friends, and good Lord who has time for sleep. There is no time, unless you go to bed early… but then you run the risk of making people suspicious of your time. Let me be a little more frank with you. My wife and I go to bed early because we have kids and I work at 5:30 in the morning. But when we tell people “we can’t go out because we have to get to bed” they think we are going to go home and play “doctor” when all we do is sleep. No really, we have been married now for 8 years, we don’t play “horse and jockey” any more.
So the same can be said for singles, when you say “I can’t go out” or “I have to get going” you are presumed ill company when all you really want to do is sleep. Getting up early to a shouting alarm clock is ill in itself… where is the pity? Waking to the anh… anh… anh… is like being slapped in the face with a catfish while your feet are frozen to a merry-go-round on a cold day, all while naked as the day you were born, spinning uncontrollably.
So I want you to stand up to your friends and tell them I am healthy, wealthy, and wise! If that doesn’t work (because it will probably won’t work) then tell them “I got to go to bed… I must sleep, and not just any sleep, the best sleep I ever had because I am going to get up and beat the alarm. If they want to make fun of you let them, but when you get up in the morning just give them a 5am wake up call to restore order and balance back into the friendship.
