There is a game, well known in certain circles, called Ding-Dong-Ditch. It is, perhaps, the most invigorating game one can play at night time. There are some rules and methods to this game that can be learned while playing, or while reading them in this article. Warning: THIS GAME IS VERY ADDICTING! Sorry I am shouting at you but it needed to be said. It is not to be taken lightly and I will explain why.
First you must be with at least one or two other people. Any more than that and you are increasing your risk of being caught. Any less than that and you have serious problems. Sure, there is some enjoyment when done alone, but you don’t want to be that guy/girl. You want the least amount of visibility possible so as not to be seen by your target’s owner, so wear dark colors. Your target, by the way, is a lowly doorbell. It is not the target that is the most important part of this experience though. The most important element to Ding-Dong-Ditch is the owner of the household that you are targeting, and their reaction. The owner’s reaction can make or break the entire experience.
Here’s how you do it: You must examine the area. You will need a good hiding spot. A great spot is a large tree or a bush that is somewhere within 30 yards from the target. You do not want to be too close, or too far, from the target. If you are too close you are at great risk of being seen, even while hiding. If you are far away it will take you longer to get to your hiding spot.  You will risk having to abort if the door opens and you are not completely hidden. So, once you have your hiding spot and it is dark enough out, you can decide which one of you is going to attempt the first ring. The first one is usually the best, so I suggest you offer to go first. You would ideally like to have all but one light on in the house off to make sure they are awake, but it should not stop you if you don’t see one on. Once everyone is in place, you will sneak to the door with the raw emotion of a first kiss. When you reach the target, you will lean forward and press the doorbell with your dominant hand. As soon as you hit that bell, you BOOK IT like a “bat outta hell!!!” You will run as fast as you can back to your spot and wait for the fireworks.
The unsuspecting person who comes to the door will be thoroughly confused as to what’s going on and will have one of two reactions. The first reaction, and most common, is one of confusion and annoyance. They will look around for a couple seconds and scratch their head and then go back inside. The next reaction, and the most satisfying, is when the person is overcome with anger and starts letting the obscenities fly. Sweet success! For the first type of person, you are allowed, and encouraged, to go back and do it again. However, be careful. This person will not be happy the second time around. They will have a different reaction than the first time and are more apt to leave the comfort of their front steps and track down their perpetrator (you!).
One thing to remember: If you are seen and your operation is compromised, you should not hesitate to run as fast as you can away from the scene. You and your friends might want to consider splitting up in case the person is upset enough to chase after you. This is a rare but magnificent moment and you will laugh for hours. You can only hope for a moment like this one. If there are no hiccups like this, you are to move on to your next target, preferably in a different neighborhood and enjoy hours of fun.
So, there you have it. Ding-Dong-Ditch = greatest game ever? No. But still worth playing as much as you can while you have young legs. Always remember, this may well happen to you down the road when you are at home and least expect it. Do the right thing and give them a show. A proper reaction is all they are looking for. Give it to them and remember when you used to enjoy the glorious game that is Ding-Dong-Ditch. If they do it more than once, destroy them.
