So you think this article is going to suck? I bet you found yourself here by mistake. As a matter of fact, I think you don’t even like this website at all. Well, not really, I am sure you are a mild mannered individual that needs to be textually stimulated just as I do. If that is the case please listen while I vent about a problem with my new car.
Awesome! You made it through the first paragraph. I have to admit I didn’t think you would. Anyway, I will stop hem-haulin’ around and get right down to it. I had to break down and buy a new car, well I didn’t break down, my old car did, but now I have to buy a new one. So I go shopping for a new ride and after looking around my eyes fell upon a lovely new Chevrolet. I am not going to tell you what year, make, model, or color because I don’t want any of you crazies hunting me down because I made you the butt of one of my articles. So with that in mind I will tell you that the car is a mid-size car costing in the mid twenty thousands. I love the car, as matter of fact it’s one of my favorite out of the ten or so I have had in the past. So now I own this car and have been driving around for sometime. Everything seemed just fine. Little did I know…
One evening back in December I was watching a football game at my brother-in-laws house when around half time I had to leave because my son was feeling ill. No problem, I live about twenty minutes away so we hopped in the car to go home, it was about seven thirty so it was dark outside. We are heading home when we hear, and I feel, my son throw up his dinner all over the car and the back of my head. Now I am missing the rest of the game with puke running down my body on a cold December night with my wife yelling at me to stop… all in about 30 seconds my world went from bad to worse. Now we are just a few feet from the busy road and I have popped the trunk to see if I can find a towel. This would have been easy except for, oh yeah… I DON’T HAVE A TRUNK LIGHT!
This made an interesting event even more colorful given the language I was speaking anyway. So off went my shirt as I wiped down myself and my screaming two year old. I am cold and cranky, as is my child, and my car smells of vomit. So back into the car I go only to reach home, flip on the TV to see who won and I find that I have missed the rest of the game altogether. It’s at this time that my wife tells me to go out to the car and get the soiled clothing out of the trunk so she could wash it. I run out to the car (still shirtless mind you) turn on the garage light because why? I DON’T HAVE A TRUNK LIGHT! That’s when I discovered not only a towel in the trunk but a dry blanket that was there in case we got caught in a snow storm, or there was a nuclear holocaust, or my kid vomits all over me. Despite the relief that this should cause, you know how nice it would be to have a blanket in a snowstorm right? I was furious because had I realized that while I was on the road I would not have had to drive home with hard nipples while my son screamed in his vomit soaked diaper.
The one thing that almost puts me over the top with this whole un-illuminated trunk space is, my two friends both recently bought new cars. Both of these cars are the same make as mine and both have trunk lights. To top it all off, the price of both their cars added together still doesn’t equal mine. So I will tell you what to do: check the oil, check the accident record, and you should even check the transmission fluid. But one thing is for sure… always make sure there is a trunk light. Just imagine you get thrown in there by the mob on your way to the bottom of some lake, you don’t want to die in the dark do you?