Now I know I have touched on kid topics before, especially kids and their condiments. Well now-a-days my kids have done just fine coming away from the ketchup. They had the occasional flashback, then there was the cold sweats after that, but now we are good. Other kids though, they are quite different. As a…
What To Do About OVERUSING CERTAIN WORDS
You learn quick what you can say and not say when you have a 6 and 2 year old running around your house. I learned early on that you can’t call your friend a bastard too many times before the 2 year old picks it up and calls your mother-in-law a bastard. I told my…
What To Do About BABYSITTERS
Well, if you can find one, keep them locked up under the house somewhere. If we were paid a dollar for everytime we were told that “we would love to watch your kids!” and then “oh I can’t, I have something up that night”. I would be a millionaire. I have 7 people on speed…
What To Do About GIVING YOUR KIDS SPICY FOOD
There is something about slipping hot sauce under my son’s ketchup that makes me laugh till milk comes out my nose. It reminds me of the pranking that I have done to my old buddy Steve. I have pranked old Steve so much that all I have to do is call him and say “dude,…
What To Do About GETTING YOUR KIDS TO EAT VEGETABLES
How quickly we forget what it was like to be sitting at a table staring at broccoli or brussels sprouts, crying and telling our parents that we didn’t want them, or that we did not like them. I remember doing that with my brussels sprouts till they were so cold that they made me gag, but I had to sit there till I ate them. Why? Because there were starving kids in Africa! I think I was only in the 6th grade when this happened to me, but it is burned into my memory like a cattle brand on the ass of some prime A beef!
Something I never thought of as a kid, is that, maybe I just didn’t like vegetables and was more of a meat eater. Or, maybe I am a carb kid like my oldest son. He takes after his mother with his overwhelming need to have pasta, noodles or toast. As where my youngest loves meat and vegetables, this is how I know he is not mine. But that is another blog on another site somewhere…
What To Do About KIDS AND VOMIT
Do you ever get all nestled into bed for a long winters rest after a long day of family and a 5 hour drive? Was that nice? I bet it was, I’ll even wager that you slept in till around 10 am or so and didn’t even care. Ah… that sounds real nice.
Well, I remember just last week, when we came home from that very scenario, nestled in the bed with our youngest boy. The feeling of the warm covers, the smell of my pillow after a long week away, the feel of the next day being open to sleep in. Drifting into sleep, I am taken swiftly to a sweet dream filled with white puffy clouds and puppies rolling and playing in the tall meadow grass. Just then, I hear a brook and I wander over to see it and find that the water is warm. I jump into the water, swim over to a little waterfall, and play in the falling water. I notice that the water has a fragrance… it is not a pleasant smell at all. As a matter of fact it is quite horrible, it smells like… like…. VOMIT! All over me!!
What To Do About GIRLS WHO GIGGLE
This article is inspired by a dear friend that takes a lot of crap from me, and will continue to take a lot of
crap from me. She makes me laugh with her constant giggling. Ok, not at first… actually in the beginning it was quite different. I used to think that there was a special place in hell where little girls would go that couldn’t stop laughing. Why? Well, before it was smile-inspiring for me, it was a prelude to beatings from my mom. Please allow me to explain.
