You learn quick what you can say and not say when you have a 6 and 2 year old running around your house. I learned early on that you can’t call your friend a bastard too many times before the 2 year old picks it up and calls your mother-in-law a bastard. I told my…
What To Do About KICKING YOUR KIDS DOWN THE STEPS
I just pulled you right in with that title, didn’t I? It’s a talent I have, kind of like fishing, I hook you in and then tell you useless things about life, but laced with humor so that you don’t realize that you have wasted an hour reading my silliness. Pure talent! You can’t teach…
What To Do About BABYSITTERS
Well, if you can find one, keep them locked up under the house somewhere. If we were paid a dollar for everytime we were told that “we would love to watch your kids!” and then “oh I can’t, I have something up that night”. I would be a millionaire. I have 7 people on speed…
What To Do About GIVING YOUR KIDS SPICY FOOD
There is something about slipping hot sauce under my son’s ketchup that makes me laugh till milk comes out my nose. It reminds me of the pranking that I have done to my old buddy Steve. I have pranked old Steve so much that all I have to do is call him and say “dude,…
What To Do About KIDS AND VOMIT
Do you ever get all nestled into bed for a long winters rest after a long day of family and a 5 hour drive? Was that nice? I bet it was, I’ll even wager that you slept in till around 10 am or so and didn’t even care. Ah… that sounds real nice.
Well, I remember just last week, when we came home from that very scenario, nestled in the bed with our youngest boy. The feeling of the warm covers, the smell of my pillow after a long week away, the feel of the next day being open to sleep in. Drifting into sleep, I am taken swiftly to a sweet dream filled with white puffy clouds and puppies rolling and playing in the tall meadow grass. Just then, I hear a brook and I wander over to see it and find that the water is warm. I jump into the water, swim over to a little waterfall, and play in the falling water. I notice that the water has a fragrance… it is not a pleasant smell at all. As a matter of fact it is quite horrible, it smells like… like…. VOMIT! All over me!!
What To Do About RAKING LEAVES
I kind of enjoy raking some leaves. I used to work at a landscape company… I know, I know, you have heard this before. No really, I worked there and had a big backpack blower and a hand held blower in the other hand. Now you are really moving some leaves! I was like a tornado with legs. Those days are over and since then I have been raking with my trusty leaf rake.
What To Do About KIDS AND KETCHUP
Why do kids like ketchup… on everything? My kids put ketchup on chicken, pancakes, hash browns, scrambled eggs, french toast, grilled cheese, macaroni and cheese, and last but not least, themselves.
