Truthfully, this should be a quick post. The answer is simply that you can’t. Under normal circumstances anyway. I suppose if you had a bi-level house or apartment and was able to lock them in the basement, muzzle their meows, and superglue mittens to their paws, you might have a chance. Sadly, I don’t have mittens. So, for those of us who are stuck for all eternity with cats, here are at least some ways you can try to minimize the daily trauma to yourself. The cats won’t care either way.